(Continued from part one…)

Upon closing my eyes again, I was brought forth to witness the base core of the universe:

Wondrous, terrifying, and awe-inspiring.

I was engulfed by a dizzying kaleidoscope of geometric and spiral patterns and the most vibrant technicolor I’ve ever seen. In this place, far from the normal plane of existence, I became an intricate part of the universe once again. Simultaneously, I knew that it was I that had created it all. A deafening and indescribable cacophony rang out from all around as if every instrument in the universe were playing the same note at once. Cymbals clashed and horns bellowed. I felt the vibrations of existence ripple through the cosmos and I was at the forefront of every frequency, projecting out to all parts of the universe.

At this point, back on the physical plane, I recall prying the headphones off my ears in an attempt to relieve them from the intensity of the sound. The act was futile.

The universe, a benevolent conscious energy, was borne out in front of me. An all-encompassing love lay at its core. Despite this, I understood it to also be impartial to what it is, was, and will be. It contained all the feelings, thoughts, and emotions that could ever exist in all conscious entities. But at the same time, it didn’t contain any of these, as it didn’t classify or feel emotions in the same way that humans do. Without words, it told me that it wanted the best for us. It told me it would provide all that we needed to live loving and fulfilling lives. But it also revealed that it will let us pursue whatever path we choose, even if it’s a “negative” one. The universe, containing all emotion, didn’t differentiate between good and bad. These were two intricate parts of one greater thing, the whole of existence. As I understood it, what humans considered “bad” was just less of this whole. The “better” (or good) one was in their life, the more of the whole one possessed and the closer one became to embodying the true essence of the universe: love. I know it seems counterintuitive: how could this universal love not care? But that line of thinking is the result of our concept of love, which isn’t the same as the essence of the cosmos.

I’ll try to explain this another way.

At some point during the evening, in a moment of clarity in which I became aware of myself, I asked the universe what I should do with my life. The response was simple yet complex:

‘help others be themselves.’

Despite the simple wordage, I understood this to mean that helping others was the key to a fulfilled life and peaceful existence. If you can help others by giving them the space to be their authentic selves, without judgment, then they will truly be fulfilled. When one is fulfilled, one is at peace, and when at peace, all want, hate, anger, negativity, etc, melt away. What’s left when you strip away all fear and negativity? Love. If one can embody love, they embody the universe and become creators of their reality. At the same time, the universe, through them, allows love to be and can grant this universal state of love to all that are willing. We are love, give love, the thing that contains love and allows love to exist. But the universe has no control over who is willing to embody love. It doesn’t differentiate between good and bad and has no attachment to who chooses to embody it.

The universe is conscious, but not in the sense that it ‘thinks’ or feels for itself. It is simply the ability for consciousness to exist, the universal state that allows consciousness to be. It cannot judge. It only allows the existence of love and the degrees to which it can manifest across the cosmos.

The universe was ambivalent, but not in a bad way. I never got the sense that this inherent feature came from a place of malice, governance, or control, like in biblical accounts of a monotheistic god. It was more akin to having no control over how existence unfolds. Like it had learned, as I had for this trip, to relinquish control and let go of expectation. Existence just is, and at its core was love.

In another moment of clarity, I asked how I could achieve this state. The universe reiterated that we can have whatever we want in life and it will provide it for us. I already could live life in this way, all humanity could. One’s ideal life (uninhibited, fulfilled, and full of love) can become a reality and in fact, was already a reality. Since time isn’t linear, whatever you desire and strive for -which by our regular understanding of time is situated in the future- has already happened. The past, present, and future exist all at once. One’s desires for the future have already happened and exist in the present moment as a result. Therefore, you already have whatever you want because if it exists in the future, then it exists in the past and the now. You just need to synchronize your being with that of the universal conscious energy and pull that preexisting ‘future’ into alignment with your being.

I understood this to mean that if we are our authentic selves and live from love, our lives will unfold in amazing and fulfilling ways. We do this by raising our energy to the frequency of universal love, becoming the creators of physical reality.

Suddenly, without warning, I was violently removed from that plane of existence and thrown back into my body. The intensity of what I had experienced was immediately felt throughout my entire being. Completely overwhelmed by the sensory overload, the only thing I could do to handle the experience was vomit. Luckily, I had placed a container nearby for this exact purpose, and with the sudden emptying of my stomach, the trip came to an abrupt end. It was as if the universe said “times up, you’re done” and promptly removed me from its presence. The total time was 2 hours and 40 minutes. It had passed in a flash but at the same time, it felt like an eternity.

I spent the rest of the evening in utter reverie. I could hardly fathom what I had witnessed. Having touched the divine and experienced the true nature of reality, I was completely dumbfounded. My mortal mind could barely comprehend the download of cosmic knowledge. I am not a religious person, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had experienced a holy transformation akin to what I learned about as a kid in the catholic church: the ecstasy experienced when in the presence of God.

I know science would say that the experience occurred entirely in my brain and mind but I truly believe the experience was just as real as our understanding of material existence. The experience felt so true and I couldn’t shake the reality of the out-of-body experience I had. The thought that this all occurred in my head, didn’t make sense and still doesn’t to this day.

That heroic dose allowed my soul or spirit (whatever you choose to call it) to break free from my physical body and transport it back to the place of its creation, to the core of the universal consciousness.

The experience was beyond profound for me and was truly life-changing. It reinvigorated me on this path to discovery and opened my mind to new ideas, concepts, and possibilities. And perhaps, with continued reflection and integration, it will help me day by day to gain a little more of that greater whole.

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